SURVIVOR ~ Breast Cancer Stage IV

I was diagnosed in January of 2001. Had found the lump in July of 2000 but went to the local health unit who had helped me for 16 years and they refused to see me, told me I had to have an appointment. I did, but not until November. I didn't have insurance or anything, I thought it was just a side effect from getting off of my birth control pills which I had just done in May. I called two weeks later again at the health unit, explained to them what I had found and got refused to be seen again. I did not know I could just get in my car and go to charity, so I left it alone. By Sept.-Oct., the lump was so big I could fit my whole hand around it and it was hurting even to wear a bra. Went to my appointment in November and they had me in the hospital the very next day for a doctor and they even had the nerve to "fuss" at me for ignoring it. I am still very mad about that to this day.

Had an appointment the next day, she told me to go schedule a mammogram. The people in x-ray were very rude and told me there was not an opening until the end of March so I got mad, screamed and told them I was coming back the next week with my friend who had an appointment and wanted to be worked in then since this had already been six months and I was not gonna wait 3 more months for a mammogram. She asked me if I actually had a mass and I asked her if she could actually read and see on the paper that at this time it was about 6cm. She told me to come the next week and she could work me in at 1:00 before the afternoon appointments, now was that so hard. To this day, I don't understand how some people can be so insensitive to things like this, especially when the person has just found out she has this and has all these mixed emotions and wonders what's gonna happen to her and her family and then you have someone who is rude and wants to fight you all the way just to get your tests done instead of trying to help you out and find a way to get it done!

Enough of that. In January, I had the needle biopsy, and it was cancer, and the tumor had got up to 9cm in just those two months. I had to take chemo to shrink it before surgery. Took four cycles of Adriamycin, 5FU, and Cytoxin. Had my mediport put in February, was a good choice, even though it hurt like hell afterward, also lost my hair the week I was recovering from surgery. Had a mastectomy done in April,2000 then had a lump removed from other breast in May, 2000. It was negative, then had my other breast removed at the end of June on my own. I wasn't interested in reconstruction, I just wanted the other one off too. It took 4 cycles of Taxotere afterwards and 4 weeks of radiation. I thought everything was fine, I felt fine, went on with my life, had a couple of checkups, and they said everything was alright.

Then in April of 2002 I went for a checkup, my left shoulder was hurting, he told me I probably had a pulled muscle since I am a waitress, I do lift alot of heavy stuff! He gave me muscle relaxers and I went on my way. This happened until October, every 3 months when I went for my checkup, he'd do a chest x-ray, it would be clear, I'd tell him I hurt, he'd give me muscle relaxers, I'd think nothing of it and go home. Then in October, I started hurting real bad in my chest, when I would breathe or cough and the pain stayed for 3 days. By the third day of non-stop pain, I thought I had pneumonia, except I felt fine everywhere else, I brought myself to the emergency room and the doctor there was wonderful. He said my chest x-ray came back perfectly clear, keep this in mind, this is the day before I found out my cancer had metastisized, and my my x-ray is clear!! How can this be? He made me call my nurse and she faxed over the orders for the cat scans which I had done the next day. It showed up 13 nodules scattered throughout both of my lungs but my liver and other organs were clear. (I had 10 out of 10 lymph nodes positive after my mastectomy!)

I went see the oncologist the next week and he confirmed everything but he wanted to send me for a PET scan before we started treatment to make sure it was nowhere else. That showed that it was in 3 of my ribs, the lungs, a lymph node in the rib cage and guess where else?? The lymph node in my left shoulder that I had been receiving muscle relaxers for since April and was told I probably had just pulled a muscle. That one is huge and hurts all the time. I am happy to say that ever since my first treatment, my chest has never hurt again, I hope that is a good sign. I am currently on Taxol, Carboplatin, and Aredia for my bones.

After my 3rd treatment on January 3rd, I will go back I assume for the PET scan and the doctor said if it is still in the same places, I will just stay on this kind of chemo, but if it showed up anywhere else I will have to switch to a kind that is once a week (Gemzar and something else). I hope that doesn't happen because with the kind I am on now, I am still able to work full time, I do not get sick, I never did on any of my chemos, I gained 60 lbs. and am still gaining weight. The only thing that bothers me is it settles in my joints and I cannot walk good for about a week after treatments and then my right foot stays numb all the time, but my doctor told me surgery wasn't an option and that the only thing they can do is try to prevent it from going anywhere else. I asked him how long I have and he said it all depends how I respond to the chemo.

I am 34 years old and have a 16 year old daughter. We don't have any family but lots of friends. I have said over and over that I have to be here until she's 18, I don't care if I am deathly ill, as long as I am here until she is legal and able to live on her own. She already has a trailer and car that are paid off and her father supports her well, just doesn't want anything to do with her. I am interested in hearing about treatment options and things I can do or take to help strengthen my immune system or prolong my life.

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