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Pattie
Hi, My name is Pattie and I am a 13 year breast cancer
survivor. My first experience with it was in December, 1989, when I was
diagnosed with Stage I DCIS. I had a lumpectomy and an axillary disection.
I also received 6 weeks of radiation, put on Tamoxifen and told I had
about a 2% chance of the cancer returning. Well, when I finally started
to
believe that, it was probably 8 years down the road.
In 1999, I was having difficulty breathing when I exercised. I told
my doctor about it and he suggested a chest x-ray to see what was wrong.
My lung was filled with fluid and I had to go immediately to the hospital
and have my lung tapped to get rid of the fluid. They did this at my
bedside and the next thing I knew, I woke up and had chest tubes coming
out of my side and I was hooked up to a container that had fluids draining
into it. My lung collapsed during the procedure and I spent 13 days in
the hospital.
At first the doctors did not know what was wrong with me. They thought
I had pneumonia, or possibly cardiomyopathy. However, they found cancer
cells in the fluid. There was a tear in the pleura of my lung (the protective
covering around the lung). When they compared the cancer cells in the
fluid with a frozen section of my tumor from 10 years before, I was told
that my breast cancer had returned and metastasized to my lung. I was
also told that it was Stage IV disease because it had spread to a distant
site. They also did a procedure called a talcing (maybe a thorocentises)
to prevent the fluid from building up again. I think I went into shock.
I was never so scared in my life. I thought I was given a death sentence.
After the hospital I had 6 treatments of CMF chemotherapy and after that
I was put on tamoxifen again. I stayed on the tamoxifen for about a year,
but my tumor markers started rising.
Then, in March of 2000 my doctor switched me from tamoxifen to femara.
I also started weekly infustion treatments of herceptin. I will be on
femara and herceptin for three years and my tumor markers are down to
26 for the bc marker 27-29 and my CEA is .04. My doctor and I are both
thrilled and in June of 2002 I went on to getting herceptin every 3 weeks
instead of weekly. Nothing seems to have changed, in fact my markers
have gone even lower since then. I write this because I want to give
people hope. I never thought I would be here today almost 4 years later
typing this story. I have so many people praying for me and a wonderful,
wonderful doctor and friends who have helped me in this journey.
I am realistic enough to know that this is not going to be forever
- Stage IV BC is very unpredictable. However, I am determined to enjoy
the life I have left. I have 3 children - a daughter, 20, who is a junior
in college, a daughter 15 who is a sophomore in high school and a boy
who is 14 and in 8th grade. I feel so bad sometimes, because the youngest
two were only 14 months and 2 years old the first time I was diagnosed.
I feel like they have had to deal with me being sick at critical times
in their development. I know I'm tired alot and I don't really have the
energy to do what I need to do sometimes. I do force myself as often
as I can.
I feel like my husband didn't bargain for this either, but they're
all stuck with me, "damaged goods". I really have to talk myself out
of feeling this way - It is not my family, but myself who feels this
way. However, it is an ongoing process to try to put these feelings aside.
I think you have to go on with your life and try to reach some of the
goals you set before the cancer so you can feel like you are the same
person you were, at least in some ways. I know I am lucky to have a great
husband and wonderful kids who love me no matter what. I try to focus
on the fact that my kids are very compassionate people who feel great
empathy for others. They probably would not be this way if they had never
dealt with this adversity in their young lives.
This past year we built a new home - our dream home. I can't believe
it - I thought that with this disease it wouldn't happen. We had bought
property just before I got sick and we couldn't decide whether to sell
it or build. I am so happy we decided to build. Yes, it was stressful,
but I felt like a normal everyday person again and I had something else
to focus on besides my cancer. I also decided this year that since my
children were getting older I needed to decide what I wanted to be when
I grew up. Instead of getting a paid job, which I hesitated to do since
I don't feel "great" every day, I decided to do volunteer work. I became
a guardian ad litem and I am loving it. I finally feel like a useful
human being again. I may not feel good every day, and I have alot of
aches and pains, but I realized I had to put one foot in front of the
other and keep on moving every day. I hope this story gives someone hope
and if anyone would like to e-mail me, please do. I would love to correspond
with others who are dealing with this dreaded disease.
Pattie
Stories
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